A friend lost her job. She was very anxious and called me. I had a very long conversation with her, just to realise that this is not the story of one individual, I am sure many of them searching for jobs in current market are going through the same. The supply demand balance seems to be offcart or it appears so…
She said that her mind was still in a state of denial, that she who was one of the best performers was asked to leave. She was not sure what needs to be done next. On certain days, she had the full energy to search for new roles, browse the portals, network, talk to ex colleagues and bosses. The next day, she just hates to continue her search, she feels like a failure and ends up binge watching movies or series. An escape from reality, as she puts it, but feels every guilty at the end of such a day. She is worried that her career is losing its sheen, her life is slowly on downward spiral and worries for the expenses that she needs to manage.
Mind games, the mind plays these games and it becomes a test of our strength to navigate through this phase…..Why?
From the time we have joined the worked force, corporate or otherwise, we have given every bit of our hardwork, soul to doing best what we could as an employee. Over time, this became our identity. Why because we started to include our job title in our introductions, we asked our peers, friends, siblings, cousins, neighbours, everybody – hi what do you do? Any answer other than “Hey , I work as “so – so” with “so-so”” was not acceptable or was considered inferior.
Our job titles became our identity. The fancier the title, the bigger the ego it filled and bigger the social status we wanted.
Now, with job loss, with no title, no designation, we don’t know what or how we identify ourselves. Please listen to me, hear me out, before you think,” ah another one on self worth gyaan”!!!
All I am saying is, in this scenario, take one, may be 2 steps back at life. Before being a Manager / AM / Snr Manager / Exec, you were someone, the true you. The title came to you, because “you” were “you” first.
So now, when you have come out of the title, why are you worried, don’t worry! Give yourself time and accept that things will take time, but they will work out to your favour for sure.
During the job search phase, during the interview phases, it is very important that you are focussed and positive. A loss of focus causes the brain and the mind to wander. To have scattered thoughts, means poor decision making. It also leads to poor interpretation of interview questions and hence the not so impressive interview outcome.
An unfocussed mind also is an anxious mind. This may lead to depreciated worth for self and self-confidence also dips….Hope seems bleak…..Depression may cave you in.
So, it is important to bear in mind that the job loss, job search period is just a phase and this shall pass too. If you don’t trust yourself, have faith in your abilities, then how will you convince the world that you are a good talent, that you are a warrior and nothing can put you down.
Here are some ways that may help ease your mind:
- Pick up some hobbies – Music has proved very beneficial, so has painting, doodling, pottery, and even baking
- Pick up a new language – If you are a learner type, pick up a new language you always wanted to learn (any Indian Language, could be Sanskrit also, or foreign languages). The brain then has enough work to process and will be off self-talk that is not worth.
- Complete that certification course – Now that you have time at hand, pick and choose the certifications that will help you further your career opportunities.
- Talk to friends and family – All the years, you were busy working, for yourself and your family, your support system, took a back seat. Its time to reconnect. Make calls, video calls and get that connection back…spend time with kids, learning their games, also about the new cycle he / she has been thinking about…
- Daydream – An anxious mind needs to be calm. You become calm, when you let memories, inner chatter flow through your head freely, acknowledge them and let go. Sit in a calm place and let you mind be free. Indulge in some day dreaming, positive dreaming, aspirations, as that will make your heart and mind lift up from the current reality. It will be at a higher frequency and hence at a positive level. Allow yourself 15 – 20 mins of this calmness. Meditation can also be attempted if you are interested to explore that.
- Read – Read books, fiction, non-fiction, self-help, poetry, history, literature, whatever you like. Somewhere being in a world created by books, lies calm and peace.
- Exercise – if you are not into books, looking inwards etc, then exercise can be of great help. This not only takes your head off current reality for few minutes, but also keeps you in good shape. Exercises are also known to clear mind clutter and prevent negative self talk.
- Watch what you say to yourself – Power of manifestation cannot be fathomed. Many great teachers have spoken about it, so watch what you say to yourself. Don’t get into the cyclic negative talk. Instead, either you acknowledge your fears when they present themselves, make peace with your past, curb your self-victimization or you divert your mind with 5 new positive thought when one negative thought crosses by. The more negative talk, 5 times more you have to talk good about yourself to you.
Remember, this passing phase of job search / interviews is very crucial. For you to succeed, you need to be your own hero. Don’t let your mind be your enemy that pulled you down 10 times deeper, than a negative interview result.
Be intentional, in every action & word you say to yourself.
Hope these few tips will open some doors for you to stay positive and continue your job search effectively. Wishing you all the success ahead…
If you liked the above most, if it made sense to you, feel free to like, share comment this blog within your circle of friends and family who may be going through this phase. All they may need is this help from you to pick themselves and start over
Best Regards, Sandhya .
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